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Unraveling the Mystery: What is Cold Mother Syndrome?

Dr Liliya Korallo
What is ‘Cold Mother Syndrome’? 

"Cold mother syndrome," also known as "cold parent syndrome," is a parenting style that is characterised by emotional distance and rejection. People who have cold mother syndrome are unable to express their love, warmth, and empathy; this leads to parents neglecting their children and making them feel that they are not loved or important. This type of parenting style can happen due to various reasons: parents who have unhealed past traumas and mental health issues can cause parents to not emotionally connect or develop a relationship with their children. Parents assume that showing love or affection towards children can be a form of "weakness," or some parents who had emotionally withdrawn parents/caregivers themselves are unable to express their own feelings to their children. We can identify cold mother syndrome in parents by observing the following traits:


• Lack of empathy 


• Not offering support to their child 


• Inability in expressing affection (emotionally and physically) 


• Not showing any interest in their child or their achievements 



How do children get affected by ‘cold mother syndrome’? 

Children are emotionally sensitive, which means this syndrome can negatively affect them. They may struggle to trust others or maintain stable relationships. They might develop insecurities and experience emotional dysregulation. Low self-esteem can also occur, and they might engage in negative behaviours to capture their parents’ attention. Such children often feel lonely and have trouble connecting with others. Some might develop mental health issues, while others may adopt an unhealthy pattern of striving for perfection and becoming overachievers to gain parental attention.



How does City Psychological Services help in coping with ‘cold mother syndrome’?

Experiencing emotional distance from a mother, father, or caregiver can be very challenging for a child. City Psychological Services in King's Cross provides various evidence-based psychological therapies, including Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Trauma-Focused Therapy, to help individuals manage the difficulties associated with 'cold mother syndrome'. Our psychologists specialise in child trauma and thoroughly examine the client’s feelings and experiences to develop suitable coping strategies. These strategies aim to help our clients process their emotions and lead a healthier life.


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