Ways to Support Your Children When Going Through a Divorce
Divorce is normal in relationships, not every marriage lasts till death do us part that is the reality. For adults it can be an emotionally challenging experience, but it is also important to consider how it affects the children involved. The impact on children is mainly negative but there are strategies that can minimise the intensity of the effect and allow your children to have a smoother transition in this significant part of their life.
Open Communication and Reassurance
It is important for there to be an age appropriate conversation with your children about the divorce. Research has shown that many children self-blame when they hear about divorce mainly due to egocentric reasons but you would need to reassure them that the divorce is not their fault.
They would need a safe space where they are able to express their thoughts and concerns. It is essential for your children to know their emotions are valid as during this time they can experience a range of feelings which in addition may lead to a change in behaviour. Never forget your children are also grieving, just expressed in another way. Together you can find healthy coping mechanisms to manage their feelings.
Stability
Children thrive in routine so it is vital that there is minimal to no disruption during the divorce process. Consistency in daily routines such as mealtimes, bedtimes and school activities helps create a sense of security and normalcy. Divorce can involve heated arguments and conflicts but it is important to ensure these discussions are never in the presence of children as it may cause tension and confusion. By keeping a united front it shows unity and this will remove the pressure and anxiety from your child may feel of having to choose a side. With both parents present and civil in the children’s lives it can make coping easier.
Self-care
While this blog’s main focus is on children it is important to prioritise self-care as an individual and a parent. Taking care of your own emotional and physical well-being allows you to be the best version of yourself to your children. Self-care reduces burnout and stress, providing a calm environment for you and your children. This healthy habit can be an example for your children, if they see you taking care of yourselves they will learn to do the same.
Seek support
Divorce is not an easy process but with the right support and strategies, it is possible for your children to get through it. Everyone’s journey is unique, so your child may act differently to what you may have expected. If you feel overwhelmed or do not know what to say you can seek help from professionals that can provide valuable guidance and support for you and your children during this challenging time. They will be able to navigate any difficulties that arise, focusing on their well-being and making sure your child thrives.
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